Paula Curtis (00:42)
Today we're welcoming Andrea Weidy and Andrea has done lots of different things, but her most unique, I think, experience that I'd love to hear more about is you walked across country with a rescue horse. And I know that this changed your journey forever. Now you're helping riders bridge the gap between training and true connection. With her unique ability to see the missing pieces in the horse-human partnership,
Andrea brings a gentle intuitive approach to build confidence, trust and joy in horsemanship. So I know you're going to love this conversation that we have here with Andrea today. So welcome, Andrea. It's great to have you and great to have you as a part of the fair. You've been a part of the fair multiple years and we sure appreciate your contributions. Thank you. Yeah, I'm super excited. It's been, I think it's been a couple of years, so it's really good to be
Good to be back and able to join in. Yeah. It's such an important thing. And I love how you bring so many different presenters together. It's really cool. So can you share a little bit about your journey from the beginnings, kind of what got you into horses all the way on through to the documentary you created and then what you're, what you're doing now? Wow. So yeah, so that's, that's 50 odd years with horses. So I was
born and bred horses. My family always had horses and rode. So it was kind of second nature. I actually learned to ride on a cow, on a dairy cow. That's one of my earliest memories is riding a cow called Coffee. So that wasn't very comfortable, I seem to remember. But so I grew up in a more traditional way of riding in England. I didn't so much do the whole pony club thing. I was mostly show jumping as a junior.
So I was out riding around the countryside to different horse shows, because we didn't have a trailer and didn't have a lorry and just doing all the local shows. So that was really fun. And then I fell in love with a surfer. And that's the other side of the world that I come from, where I'm from, everyone's into either horses or surfing or both, because we're on a little peninsula that sticks out in England called Cornwall. And he was
really into traveling. we went traveling, we ended up in Costa Rica, we wanted to stay forever. So we opened a horse riding business because I saw that a lot of what the horses were around and just the general feel with horses was that I didn't find anywhere that I wanted to go riding without feeling like I was contributing to discomfort in the horse. So
I thought, right, I'm going to open something where people can come and learn to connect with horses and go for a ride, but not just bouncing around on the back of a horse. You know, learning more about the connection and about why horses are so special. And that was a really big part of the change of direction in my journey. And we had a lot of.
really amazing instructors come down to Costa Rica and people would come for a week's riding vacation and learn from the best in the world. And it changed how I felt about horses, what I knew about horses. It dismantled everything. And I started again. And one of the instructors that came down was Elsa Sinclair, who is now a very dear friend. And I told her about this idea I had of rescuing two horses and
Well, it was only going to be one because I was going to do it by myself and walking from the Pacific to the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica at liberty as much as I could, learning about the horses along the way. And Elsa said, I want to do that with you. Let's do it. And it was her that made the film. And it was the second film in her Taming Wild series, Taming Wild Pura Vida. And yeah, we had the time of our lives. And I'd already been going down the road of
looking much more at the relationship and understanding who I needed to be to be with horses rather than what I expected them to give me. But the trek certainly took me to a whole nother level of what horses were able to do. I mean, if I'd known ahead what we were getting into, I never would have done it. I never would have asked the horses to do it. They loved it.
They loved it. They met us every day at the gate. Let's go. Where are we going? I literally think they would have walked for the rest of their lives and been very happy. And I could have too. What are, what are some key lessons that the horses taught you on that journey? Because that was quite a journey and I'm sure you learned so much and it's such a unique experience that, you know, many will not have a chance to experience, but I'm sure there's some really
profound key takeaways that you took out of that, that people can apply with their horses. And I'd love to hear them. For me, was control is futile. Don't ever think you're in control because you're not. You cannot control something that doesn't want to be controlled. And you may feel like manhandling and dominating a horse puts you in control, but it doesn't. It just shuts them down.
And I think that control is a really big one for people and it's usually based in fear. So we've coming, you know, we may not even realize it, but you scratch away at that control and it comes to our inherent fear of very large animals hurting us. And I think it's hard to admit that. But the more that we need to be in control, I think that fear is there and needs to be addressed. And then you soon realize that actually if you can
be in a place of friendship with that horse and come from a place of sharing leadership of mutual decision making, you are ultimately going to be safer. I believe that's just my opinion. No, I think that's great. We, talk to people all the time about that. Really. It's a constant conversation with your horse that you're in, which means it's a two way dialogue. A conversation goes both ways and you have to structure the conversation in a way that
allows the horse to be an active participant in the entire process. So not just the conversation, but the process and where it goes. So good leadership doesn't mean you're always leading. Sometimes you've got to follow and learn about who you'd like to lead so that then you can be the leader that they actually need. And I'm sure you had, you took two horses, you said. what, what were the differences?
Because, you know, they're all individuals and so are we. What were the differences that you noticed with the horses? I mean, it sounds like you were part of their herd, really. I mean, you guys were all herds. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to be honest. I don't believe we're ever a part of their herd. I really don't. I feel like we're coming into their world as a guest and how we present ourselves is how much they decide that they let us in. For the most part, horses will
always choose horses and they should. That's the thing is they should. My horses do run to me and I love it, but I don't need it. I don't need it. And I think when they don't, it's wonderful because it means everything they need they have right now, right where they are. And they should have, it's our duty to give them friends, forage, freedom as much as we can. So they don't need us as much. But what I learned in the track is that
Each of the horses had something different to teach us. And that was phenomenal. And it seemed like between myself, Elsa and Liana, who was leading Mishka, the pack horse, we all had the horse we needed. At that time. You know, it's like Zeus, all he wanted to eat, he just wanted to eat the whole time because he'd come from a starvation case. He just wanted to eat.
And I wanted to control that and we needed to get to camp before dark. you know, I have to constantly battle rushing woman syndrome and I'm really good at that. And he just was a mirror to that. you know, each of the other girls had their own lessons with their own horses. And once there was one moment in particular where we were going down a steep, steep hill and there was
gullies through, because it was a dirt hill, there was all these cut gullies through it from the rain and it was so dangerous and I was trying to control him and trying to control him and don't go so fast and go exactly where I want you to go and he just kept getting faster and faster and faster and in the end I just went forget it and I just started running down the hill screaming and yelling and he was running along beside me until he started to go whoa
Slow down. it was absolutely awesome because it just broke all of the control. And after that point, we had a real turning point because he was just like, stop trying to micromanage everything that I'm doing. I know where I'm putting my feet. It's you that's struggling, me. exactly. And I was just going to ask, us about some sketchy situations. So that was one.
Tell us about other sketchy sort of scary situations. When were you the most maybe elevated emotionally? In the Indigenous zone. We had to go through, we didn't have to, we chose to go through the Indigenous zone and there really wasn't much of a path. I remember our amazing guide who honestly would still be out there if it wasn't for Orlando. But he said to me,
We will be fine as long as it doesn't rain. And of course, overnight we heard the rain and it was like, okay, great. And we had to hike. We crossed this suspension bridge from civilization. That's where we said goodbye to the camera crew and everybody. Well, no, the camera guy came with us, but my husband and everyone, the support team, we had to say goodbye to them and we weren't going to see them for at least two days because they couldn't follow in the truck.
And it was a nine hour hike to this little remote village and then a 10 or 12 hour hike back out again. And that was brutal. And we were in literally thigh deep mud. And I can remember thinking, you know, what have we done? We're gonna, this is potentially gonna hurt one of us or the horses. This is really bad. But by then,
turning back was equally as sketchy. we were in and learning to let go and let those horses do what they were born to do was so incredible. And I think by the time we got out the other side, between the three of us girls, we had fallen way over 50 times, like fallen hard, horses not one.
They did not have a scratch on them. They climbed the steepest stuff where we ended up just letting go and they went up and waited for us at the top. And it was like, this is incredible what these horses can do. When we get out of the way, egos have controlled horses to the point where their learning capabilities have shrunk to nothing. They learn by...
by the drills that people put them through, but it's like these horses are the most incredible problem solvers. Their cognitive functioning is beyond what we know it to be in the domesticated world and watching them do their thing, they were amazing. And they, the next day, right there, ready to go. They loved it.
That's so cool. And you know, you're right. I look at that too, is like control is like a defense mechanism for people's fear. And you said that, but that's, we, deal with that all the time. And it's like, there's an aspect of directing to a point, but then letting go. Because if you're only directing, that's when you say micromanage, but if we direct and let go, direct the thoughts, let it go. The body will come.
then all of sudden it's working really well. And now it's more like we're in a harmonious state with the horse. And when you spend that much time with a horse, you do become a unit. may not be in the herd, but you are part of the team or a unit with those horses. And our blended herd. Yeah, it blended. I remember one part, Elsa had the most challenging horse, hands down. Apollo didn't want to be touched.
He wanted to walk at two miles an hour. He was very challenging. If you tried to put his hoof boots on, he'd just try and kill you, you know, kick. And he was really challenging. And this one day when we were going through the indigenous zone, Elsa was getting terrible vertigo, really, really challenged by it. And she was trying and she was keeping going because we really didn't have a choice. You couldn't stay out there. And it's on camera actually in the documentary. Apollo came up beside her.
And he tucked himself under her arm and he took her until she felt better. And then he was like, get off me. And that showed me one day, I believe in many generations to come. Someone or something is going to be able to show us the true level of intelligence and compassion and feeling that horses have. And it is.
going to fill us full of shame for generations that have gone by. Somehow with technology, they're going to be able to show us this and it is going to blow our minds. So I can't wait to see what the children right now are going to be doing. You I feel like some of us are on the edge of, you know, trying to work with horses in a different way, but I think it's going to go somewhere that we can only imagine and it's going to be beautiful.
I think so too. And I think if your eyes are open and you can make observations, which I know you do because of your life, you can see this in horses. We can see this. We can see some of the things they do. But what happens is, you I once had a teacher in school that said horses were dumb animals because they will, they will run themselves to death and he has no clue. He's, he's, he's confusing intelligence and emotion. And we know that that's their mechanism to flee, but he's not understanding that.
that has nothing to do with intelligence. That's emotion. And a lot of people, live on the emotional side with their horse, but they're not accessing the intelligence side of the horse, which I think goes back to you saying, kind of let go and let the horse, let the... Think as well. I really see my role in this, like the way that Elsa's teaching, I have so much respect for her. You know, it is super, super unique. And I've always felt with my own teaching,
I want to be a bridge for people who are still in control mode, who are feeling fearful. Perhaps they've had a fall. They've lost their confidence. I've recently started doing this online mentorship where I'm saying to people, look, come with me for a while. Come with me for eight weeks and let me show you not what I experienced on the track. That was personal for me. That was my learning. But there is a bridge that
I don't ever want it to be them and us. It's like, I want to stand on the bridge and go, hey, come over here a minute and just start to work your way towards this and see how it feels. See if you feel like you can just give your horse a little bit more choice. If you can just learn that actually you don't need to be fearful in this exact situation because you're actually not in danger at this moment. So let's perhaps give the horse the freedom to choose which direction we're going to go.
And then when they start to see, actually, my horse did that. And he didn't take advantage of me. He didn't try and get one over on me. All these false narratives that we're given that just don't exist. So yeah, I think it's just being open to looking in a different way and forgiving yourself for anything you might have done in the past. Because we do what we do till we know better and then we do it different.
I think that's great. That's really empowering to people because especially, you know, the demographic in the horse world is heavily women. And oftentimes it's women that, you know, they've had this dream their whole life, but they've had families or careers or things going on in their life. And, you know, maybe they've been able to dabble with horses, but then they finally get them and now they're in the dream. then, you know, it's rarely a dream.
The the doubts creep in, the fears creep in. They're, you're not, I'm not as athletic as I used to be. I used to be able to do this on horses, you know, when I was younger and I had this 10 year lapse and now I'm back and things are not what I thought. And, and so that's, that's okay. So what, why are you really with your horse? Well, you're with your horse and having a horse for the joy and the feel and the experience. And there's so much richness in that relationship.
that does not necessarily even mean we have to ride or do specific groundwork exercises. Sometimes it's just a being and through that being it actually, like you were talking about earlier, it opens us up to the true intelligence of the horse, which is not just the brain, but it's their, they're in the field. They're in like the energy field, you know, they are, they are bringing so much through.
that if we can just be in their presence and see what's coming through, it's pretty cool. And I know you do some of this with one of your presentations in the fair is about this, know, recognizing what is my horse interested in and letting them direct the conversation a little bit. Can you, can you talk to that? Yeah, well, I'm presenting about being interested in what your horse likes. I've said to students before, what is your horse like? They're like, food. Well, what else?
Like there's gotta be more. So I talk a lot about observation. You know, where does your horse like to be? What does it like to investigate? Horses have shut down so much of their natural curiosity because they get told off for it. People just last week, I had a student give my horses to, I've got a new rope and it just keeps putting it in its mouth. I'm like, yes. How else is it going to know what texture it is and how bitey it is or stretchy or what it feels like? They don't have these.
So it's, it's harmonizing with your horse while they are exploring the world around them and joining in, know, whatever they touch, go and touch it. It's super cool. I had, I remember a student years ago and she was a such a cool woman. I think she was in her eighties and she had this Arabian horse and where she had the horses, they weren't allowed to go out in company, which was a bit sad, but the horse was just.
standing there and I was like, what is your horse like? was like, I have no idea. I've never been out in the pen with the horse. It's always someone else bringing it in. I'm like, well, let's go, let's see. And she had a lead rope in her hand and the horse got in its mouth and was spinning it around and around in circles and tossing it and going and getting it. I'm like, your horse wants to play. Like, let's join in. And when we joined in.
What she ended up in tears. said, I've wasted so many years. had no idea that I could do this with my horse. And I'm like, yeah, but it's never too late. You're now bringing a new enrichment to your horse. know, their environmental enrichment is so important. And if you can just take 10 minutes a day to be in their world and see what they like, even if it is just eating grass, well, great. Hang out with them. Feels great.
Feels great to just relinquish control. And some horses, when you're in their world long enough, eventually some horses, then they start doing human-like things, which not all horses, but again, it goes back to that intelligence. and, you first have to sort of mesh together and see it through, through their eyes first. I think they have to trust that you're not there to take something from them. Because let's face it, most humans, when they walk into the horse's world, they want something.
Even if it's just come in and get groomed, we decide when they come in, how they come in, who they come in with, where they stand, where they're tied up, how we brush them, what they're fed. Everything is so controlled. And then the only time they're really themselves is when they're in their herd, if they're lucky, and we're not even around. So they never get to see us, rarely, just going, Hey, what do you want to do? Right.
Let me ask nothing. Right. I think, you know, kids have such an easy time doing this sort of thing, going with them without agendas. And you can see there's, you know, kids when their heart is just with that horse and the horse is with them, it doesn't, and this is the thing, know, they're with techniques. Yes, technique can be important and helpful and good. But if you look at somebody that's truly connecting,
with their horse at that level, like a kid for example, they can be doing everything wrong, but their horse and them are so connected and they've got wrong to them. Yeah, it's not wrong to them. The feel is just just right there. And so as an observer, exactly as an observer, you'd be going, gosh, you know, what are they doing? But the horse and them are getting along just fine because of that connection. What I'm seeing a lot of now, though, I'm going to be honest, is people are getting lost.
And this is what I'm focusing on now with the mentorships that I'm doing is like, want to work with people one-on-one because what I'm seeing is you've got students, I've taught thousands of students and I've really noticed this across the board, especially like my focus is people over 50. And I'm seeing students in one of two camps. So they're focusing on the relationship. Fantastic. They want
everything to be right for their horse. They want the horse to be happy. They want the horse to love them, which is always a difficult one. but they're getting a little paralyzed because they're going, well, now I'm a bit, I don't want to ask my horse to do anything now because I'm scared I'm going to ask wrong. I don't think I'm good enough to ask them. So I'm not going to ask anything, but now my horse is not really wanting to be with me anymore because horses
If we are too wishy-washy, they are a bit like that energy is just too much, or if we need them so much, it can be really repelling to horses. So I'm finding the students are getting stuck here in the relationship pieces and then going, now I don't know what to do. And then it swings to the other side where maybe they need to do something. They're getting very emotional, perhaps a little bit scared. It's coming out of being overly dominant.
They're asking their horse to do something, the horse is going, whoa, what was that? Now they feel terrible. They've lost their confidence further and they've swung back here. So through my pure Liberty work, I teach the friendship and the relationship, but with the mentorship, what I'm saying is there are times when we do need to ask our horses to move. I've had students that have been evacuating with the LA fires.
There was no choice at that point. It's like, I need you to move and I need you to move now. But I talk about the inner and the outer smile. We want to get to the point where we can go, hey, I need you to move. No, no, no, I need you to move now. Awesome, thank you. Now, what would you like to do? So it's finding that middle road of still being able to have a conversation, influence the movement of your horse on the ground.
or even in the saddle, in the saddle is not my specialty. I tend to work with people on the ground. And what we're seeing is when they are then in the horse's world and there is complete freedom of choice, the horse wants to be with them so much more than when they were feeling stuck and unsure how to ask their horse to give them something that they needed. Because people get a little bit lost in the fact that actually this is a two way street.
And that we also get to have a say and deserve to be listened to. that's what I was really seeing in the last few years of people diving into the relationship side, which I was thrilled about. But they were getting stuck there. And the answer is somewhere in the middle. definitely. that's well stated. You know, when horses get when people are so afraid of making mistakes and they want to be so gentle, pretty soon.
The horse's mind is going to go to what's most interesting. And sometimes the owner may not be that interesting anymore. So curiosity, using the power of curiosity for a nervous horse or using curiosity for a horse that's sort of maybe tuning out to their owner, there's a lot of power in that, but it takes creativity. Absolutely. Putting it to purpose and being creative and allowing puzzle solving is a great example. Can we puzzle solve something together?
But it doesn't mean that we need to use escalating pressure. For me personally, really focusing and conquering your own body language. You know, you can intellectualize something and you can believe in your heart. And there's so much you can do with your energy, so much, but you've got to let it out and you've got to be in your body and not in your head. And then the tools that you're using,
don't, what I'm trying to say is what I'm seeing. I was having students come for Liberty sessions and they were having the most beautiful, my version of Liberty, where there really is a, is freedom of choice, not, you know, a repeated pattern and then you take the rope away and it stays there. There's nothing wrong with that. But I was talking about sort of immersing yourself in the horse's world, still influencing their movement, but not as much. And then people would put a halter on to take the horse out and this
bar fight was starting where the horse was dragging them or they're wrestling and I'm like, who have you turned into now that you have tools in your hand? And I really thought about this and I thought when we are as humans, we've learned to use tools. But when we get tools into our hands, we become very focused and we're coming out of our body into our minds, into our hands. Where is it liberty?
We don't have any of that. So we are standing back and being very aware of who we are for the most part. So the piece that I'm really focusing on is can you keep that Liberty mindset when you have tools in your hand? Because it's not realistic for the most part to think that you're never going to use tools. If your horse needs its teeth floating or the vet's coming or you're loading, you know, you're going to be using tools. So let's learn how to use them with compassion.
invoking curiosity and using those tools as a way to communicate, not increase pressure until you get the result that you want. Because that doesn't make me feel comfortable and it sure as heck doesn't make the horse feel comfortable. So that's my where I'm at at the moment with it and I'm loving it. that's cool. I like that because when we're when we're learning that or
applying the fact that it's not increased pressure. Now we have to come back to how am I explaining what I would like my horse to do and how is their answer or questions back to us because maybe they're uncertain. How does that cause me to have to change how I'm explaining things? And at Liberty, I can see where people really have to like, how do I need to explain this better?
But then, when, when they got that tactile thing in their hand and there's probably a lot of muscle memory and a lot of nervous system stuff that all goes into that because. Yeah. then imagine when they get into the saddle. Yeah. It all carries up. And I think what you can learn at Liberty, I always say like, if you've got a new horse, stay at Liberty for two months before you do anything. I mean, you might have to still use a halter, but.
The micro signals that you learn to pick up on and focus, they are still there when you have tools in your hand. And the tools, you know, I can always remember when I first started walking across Costa Rica, day one, I was just a mess. The tension of it all, the prep, the arranging everything, I was so, it's all got to be right. And day one, we're walking and all Zeus wanted to do was eat.
And he was dragging me. So I was pulling him and I'm like, this is so far from what I had in my mind because I'm in a complete nervous system meltdown because, you know, the cameraman's too far back. And it was all just day one fear of, my gosh, we've put all this together and Elsa's flown in and, you know, invested a lot of money and my gosh, it's all on me and it's got to work.
was not the frame of mind to be working with a new horse. And I can remember saying to Elsa when I was nearly in tears, if he runs me over one more time. And she just looked at me and started laughing. And I was like, what are you laughing at? And she was like, how can he run you over if you're not there? And, you know, I knew this stuff, but I had lost myself to my stress hormones. And I just started laughing. I was like, my gosh, I got so sucked in.
to wrestling this horse and her point being keep yourself moving. You don't need to be right underneath your horse or controlling your horse. As soon as I let that go, everything fell into place for the most part. And it was again, can I let go of control, of using my tools way too much, keeping that liberty mindset, keeping a smile in the rope and moving my own body.
my own body language and my own energy to be able to connect with this horse. And that's when you learn who do I need to be because they don't need to be anything. They just are the way they are. We have to learn who do we need to be to reach this horse and connect this horse so that we can use the tools in the lightest possible way. I always say be the lightness that you want to see in your horse. If you're bracing, your horse is going to brace.
So how can you navigate that? So yeah, it's, it's fascinating. Horses are amazing. Definitely. they are. I, I really like how you talk about, you know, people need to get to know their horse and those first couple months. Maybe you do just get to know them. And I also love the enrichment of the environment. We have a connected mind course and the whole first module is, you know, observe your horse. You have to learn to read them. You need to put things into their environment to tarps, cones, poles.
and you watch from the other side of the fence if you're not comfortable or you go in and you learn how do they interact with their other herd mates? What are their reactions and responses? And when you start doing the things that you're talking about here by spending time and really learning what the horse needs from you by learning about them, now we can erase a lot of our own fears because knowledge and understanding really make a huge difference in the fear process.
Yeah, knowledge is everything. I am always going to be a student when it comes to horses. Yes, I teach and I share, but I'm sharing things that I'm learning all the time. Like these horses behind me, did a clinic myself and Callie King were teaching in California and we were observing this wild herd. It returned to freedom, a fantastic organization in California. It sounds so obvious, but I was sad.
watching them and you know I've been around horses for over 50 years and I had the absolute revelation which helped mould this mentorship that I'm teaching now. You never see these horses pulling each other from the front, they only drive each other from behind. Now okay yes they'll come in on the side or whatever but for the most part when they wanted another horse to move forward they would come in and push
from behind and I'm not talking about biting or increasing pressure. They were just nudging. Hey, walk forward. I don't feel confident. Can you go first? I was like, not one of them went to the front and pulled from the front, which is how we always try and control a horse where it is the most alien thing to them. And I sat watching it and I was like, they don't even do that. So
You know, you never stop learning. want to always learn. And I just think that the deeper you get into this, the more you realize we know very little about horses. And if we're open, they are showing us, they are showing us every step of the way, whether we're on the right track or not. that's cool. I've always strived to be a student of the horse and I love
how much you have embodied that. mean, going and studying wild horses, going on a trek and seeing, you're in real world conditions doing this. And that's where the learning really gets deep because it's not, you know, just out in a paddock with your, with your horse. It's, it's real experiences. Yeah. And I think it is hard, you know, I've had a lot of students go, yeah, well, I can't go and sit with wild horses and I can't take my horse across the country. Like,
I get that, but there are things you can do. You can go on adventures around your own property. You can set all sorts of puzzles to solve with your horse, but go into it with the mindset of let's do this together or let me watch them do it. Let me learn how they learn. Like one of the biggest things is I love watching horses, like you said, put cones and tarps.
how long it takes some horses to process. And then watch a video of yourself working with your horse and you think you've given them a big gap between asks, but actually it was maybe two seconds, if you're lucky. And then you're asking again. And then they do something and you go, very good. And you go again. And it's like in nature, they would have perhaps taken five, six, 10 minutes between tries. We struggle with that.
And the other thing that I was really observing in these is how long they rest and how sleep deprived and exhausted a lot of our horses are. And that impacts their learning so much more than we can imagine, because these guys would be investigating, looking a little bit of problem sewing, eat and sleep. And they were on cycles. they're the horses, many horses when I'll go into barns, I'm like, these horses are so tired.
because the noise level, the human activity, the constant movement, the training and the riding, they are tired and that impacts their brain. So when I work with a horse, like in the mentorship I'm doing now, I say to people, work with them for 10 minutes, done. 10 minutes and then leave them alone. Doesn't mean you can't go later and go for a hike or take them for a fitness trail ride or something, but
Don't keep challenging their learning for hours on end because they're exhausted and then they make mistakes and then they get disciplined in a lot of situations. And another one is like repetition. So let's say you're asking your horse to back up and your horse backs up and you're like, great, do it again. So they back up and you go, that's great. Do it again. And the horse is going, I must've got the wrong answer.
I must have got the wrong answer. So I'll try something else. And then you go, don't be so naughty. You must have known it. We've done it twice. It's like, yes, but you've told them by asking again, that what they gave you the first time was wrong. So they must, they're just guessing and then they try something else. I think it was Dr. Stephen Peters, brilliant brain specialist who's studying horses now. And I did a clinic with him and we got to hold.
brains and look at the brains and it was incredible. And he did an exercise where he said, okay, say the letter A. So we were like, A, say the letter A, A, A. went, yeah, see how frustrated you are. You've just, I'm sure it was Dr. Stephen Peters. Anyway, and we were so frustrated because we're like, what are we doing wrong? And he's like, nothing. I just asked you to do it too many times. And it was like.
Yeah. So once or twice and be done. Move on. Move on to something else. Or move on to nothing. Or move on to nothing. Or move on to nothing. Just settle. Just settle together. Right. In a short session is powerful because they get it really good. You put them away. When you get them the next time, they remember that a lot more. Late Some long session with all kinds of emotion. Absolutely. So.
you're spot on. Well, well said. Well, it's, know, I didn't invent all this, but I've learned from some amazing people, but yeah, it's, ⁓ it's just learned. I would love one day to see the way people have writing lessons and things like that to change completely. Because you know what? We can't retain information like that either. You know, do five minutes, stop and chat for five minutes. Do another five minutes.
You know, in the wise riders, I teach a group club called the wise riders club is so fun. Everyone's over a certain age and I call it the 1 % rule. You know, just do a little bit, bank the good feeling, try again tomorrow because that helps your confidence too. And you have a, you have a presentation in the fair about wise riders. Can you tell us a little bit about, Yeah. Well, I was just really seeing like older.
Yes, predominantly women, but we have men too. the older generation were really getting a raw deal in the horse industry at large. know, if they aren't galloping around doing extreme stuff, they're kind of just written off. And it's like, no, you know how much guts it takes to still ride at 80. It's amazing. These people are amazing. And there's so much we can learn from each other. So we brought them together as a community and we talk about this 1 % rule.
The Y's is an acronym too, which you'll learn about in the presentation, but just the 1 % rule, know, people that had massively lost their confidence through accidents, you know, they happen. People have had some bad accidents or not even bad, but our brains as we get older, they are trying to keep us safe. So we tell ourselves all these stories and it can be subconscious and we feel our stress hormones and the amygdala is trying to keep us safe. So I'm like, you know,
When you come back to riding, break it down. Can you even tack up without feeling sick? Great. Take the saddle off, be done for the day. Bank the good feeling. know, no one has a gun to your head. Don't listen to what everybody else is telling you. know, break it down. If your goal is I want to get back on my horse and trot a circle. Great. Break it down into a month of can I put the saddle on? Great. Done that. Can I stand on the mounting block and
Just be there. Great. Call it quits. Can I put my leg over and sit down and breathe? Great. Get off. know, David Lichman, one of my long-term mentors, amazing man, him and Dr. Jennifer Zelig, they've always said there is nothing that can't be fixed by approximations. And that's in terms of horse training, but it works for us too. It works for us too, to instead of like busting out of your comfort zone, just pushing it out.
a little bit each time and bank that good feeling because then no one can take that away. It's done. You've got it. You've banked it and you just build on it slowly because what happens is people go, right. Today's the day and they get on and they're halfway around the trail ride and they suddenly realize they are so over threshold. Again, it happens with horses. They're just been pushed so over threshold. They become frightened. They become tight and they realize their worst nightmare.
what you're talking about is you're, you're helping these individuals neurochemically condition their body and mind to feeling okay and safe in those conditions. And then you're just adding a little, you know, a little more each time. And now we don't end up in the state like you were talking about in when you were doing the documentary where you're just fried and you can't even think in that situation of things you already knew.
Because your nervous system, the chemicals in your body, your emotions, all of that is governing what's happening. And if we can do what you're doing and condition ourselves, then we can tackle these bigger tasks and they don't seem like huge mountains. it's the same thing for the horse. It's the same thing. Yes, it's exactly the same. Because it is meant to be fun.
forget that they're like white knuckling their way through. It's like, no, this is supposed to be fun. This is something that most people are doing to escape the stress of real life and have fun. And it costs money. It's an investment. And it's like, if you're not having fun, we need to look at that. Like, what can we change where you can get back to finding the joy in spending time with your horse? And, you know, a large part of that is letting go of control.
breaking things down, learning more about your horse in their world, and then approaching things using the 1 % rule and slowly build it all back up again. How do help riders that, I guess I think there's a lot of equestrians that are in this situation where they, and I know we have to wrap up the interview here because we're getting a little late, but they're, let's say, in a stable. So they come.
And they want to, you know, they want to do exactly what you're saying, but there's this external pressure and feel of judgment, you know, and, and, we can say, well, that's our own ego getting in the way, which is, but how do you help writers work through that piece? Because I think that's a very difficult one for people. is really, really hard. And I think the best thing to do is to have an open and honest conversation with whoever's in charge.
So you have an open and honest conversation. say, listen, this is something that I really want to focus on. Is there a way that I could spend half an hour before my lesson or before I work with my lease horse or come and work with my own horse? I would just like half an hour where I could maybe take this horse out and graze in hand and just spend time observing them. Do you have a problem with that? And I've had so many students do this and there's been very few who have said no to that.
And there's actually a really good book that's out at the moment that's just come out by Mel Robbins called Let Them. And I recommend anybody in whatever they're doing in life to read that book. And it's about, if you are experiencing external pressure, it's like, let them, but let you, let me make choices that work for my life. And it's by having open and honest conversations.
Because otherwise you just get frustrated. feel resentful. That emotion is brought to the horse. Then you're the whole thing deteriorates. So just saying, you know, being honest, this is what I want to focus on. And when people give you lots of unwanted advice, part of the wise riders club, do webinars with the most incredible presenters. We've had Warwick Schiller, Karen Rolfe, Linda Tellington Jones. So many. It's Karen Rolfe's.
Advice that really stuck in my mind is when people give you advice of what you should be doing, you just say, thank you. And that's it. Don't add anything. Just go, thank you. And carry on doing what it is that you want to do. Because I do think sometimes the industry holds us a little bit in this thing where it's
can be very disempowering. I'm not suggesting someone who's very green with horses goes out with a two-year-old Mustang and learns to be its friend. I'm not suggesting that, but there are many, many situations where people, they use their own intuition and keep basic safety in mind, there's a lot that you can do to go out and learn to connect with a horse and stay safe. And, you know, most people that I teach, they're over 50. You think how much life experience?
And how much difficulty they've navigated in their life with children, illnesses, elderly parents, know, difficult, difficult life things that they had some difficult personal growth, but they were strong through it. Yet we come into the horse world and we suddenly become a shrinking violet. We don't think that anything we've got to say is worth listening to and, and that we're hopeless. That is not the case when we can bring that.
and love we have in our hearts to our horses. There is so much power that you have in yourself of trusting your gut. So many students have said to me, I knew in my gut what I was seeing wasn't right, but I didn't feel like I could speak out. It's like you are the only person that can advocate for your horse and you've got to trust that you know the right thing to do for your horse.
I love that. think that's a great place to end the interview. Actually, that's super empowering and it's a message that people need to hear. That was fantastic. Where can people find out more information about you, Andrea? So they could go to my website, andreawaidy.com or you can go to horseclass.com where we have the hub for wise riders and you can reach out to me either through my own website or through horse class.
What I'm offering at the moment is people can get on a free half an hour call with me via the Calendly link, which I can give you guys to put in the show notes. And people can come and talk to me for half an hour about where they are with their horse, things that they're struggling with. I can tell them about the mentorship or other things that I might be able to help them with in ways to connect with their horse. And that's free half an hour.
to chat with me, no obligation to purchase anything. I just love talking to people and seeing how I might be able to help them. Well, that's very generous of you and your time. And thanks for giving us so much time today. been great. Thank you. We appreciate you. I appreciate you guys. It's great what you're bringing to everybody.
